I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
