when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize