So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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