Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My feet surprised me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
