What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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