just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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