Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
