How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
