There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Farmville is her only friend.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize