I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
bring money and cleavage
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
