Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
