Do you still have your period?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
