Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
