My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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