somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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