just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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