i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
