Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She needs sedatives and a leash
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
