I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
