i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
