her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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