is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
