Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Someone came in the potted fern
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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