funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize