ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Everything about him screamed your future.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
