I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Green mimosas i think yes
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
