so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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