: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
