Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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