I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
