When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
