Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
