What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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