i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hippo gnu deer
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
