Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
