May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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