Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
