Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
