that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
