I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
