Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
