hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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