Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
oh god the rape fog is back!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
