u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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