You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
