That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
