I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize