you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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