Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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