dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
