I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
