Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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