curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I love you.
Bad choice
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
