capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
