Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
