you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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