smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
