I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
