im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
