i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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