She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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