the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
