Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
